Knock! Knock! “Who is there”? “Grief”. “Grief who”? The grief from your past hurt, loss of a loved one or job. Grief always comes unannounced and without warning. You do not get the opportunity to sit and decide when you will experience distress, but when it hits, there is no rejecting it or closing the door and saying, “you’re not welcomed here”.
Many people believe grief only hits when you experience the death of a close friend or loved one. Though this is one of the common reasons that lead to grief, it is not the only one.
Grief can be ignored for months or even years, but the longer it is left without attention, the more likely you will crumble, leading to mental breakdowns. Speaking to a licensed mental health professional or even a friend to unravel some of the layers of sadness, loneliness, rage, disbelief, guilt, or emotional turmoil can bring some light to your dark cave of isolation.
It’s pretty interesting how we class grief, believing it must be something tragic. Did you know that grief can present itself in more subtle situations like moving from your primary home?
It would help if you didn’t judge your grief; it’s personal to you. Becoming ashamed about your suffering does not help the process. It is a normal human emotion to experience loss for something that is of value to you.
Healthily dealing with grief is essential. Facing grief with support ensures you can implement coping mechanisms that teach you how to deal with the pain of your loss.
It is vital to remember that there is no time stamp on how quickly you will resolve and heal from grief, but committing to the process and being self-compassionate eases the sadness and emotional unrest over time. When you have started making progress with grieving, you will be able to, little by little, start accepting your loss, embrace new meaning and push ahead in life.
No one looks forward to grief and can say by next week I will say “Good-bye Grief, don’t come back.” Grief doesn’t operate in that manner; it all depends on your personality and ability to cope. Even in light of this, you cannot rehearse how you will respond to grief because every loss connects differently. Do not listen to the many myths surrounding grief of how “it will subside if you ignore it”, “be a man and be strong”, or “it will pass within a year”. Dealing with grief means dismissing the myths and truly recognizing your pain.
The next time you see grief, be honest and say, “Wow! I was not expecting you but wipe your feet and come on in. I have a spot right here on the couch for you.” Grief is complicated, but it is a natural and healthy way to deal with a loss that will ensure you have the strength to keep living with purpose.
Contributed by: Steve O’Connor
Copywriter for M.O.T.M.V.
