When Grief Knocks at Your Door
Knock! Knock! “Who is there”? “Grief”. “Grief who”? The grief from your past hurt, loss of a loved one or job. Grief always comes unannounced and without warning. You do not get the opportunity to sit and decide when you will experience distress, but when it hits, there is no rejecting it or closing the door and saying, “you’re not welcomed here”. Many people believe grief only hits when you experience the death of a close friend or loved one. Though this is one of the common reasons that lead to grief, it is not the only one. Grief can be ignored for months or even years, but the longer it is left without attention, the more likely you will crumble, leading to mental breakdowns. Speaking to a licensed mental health professional or even a friend to unravel some of the layers of sadness, loneliness, rage, disbelief, guilt, or emotional turmoil can bring some light to your dark cave of isolation. It’s pretty interesting how we class grief, believing it must be something tragic. Did you know that grief can present itself in more subtle situations like moving from your primary home? It would help if you didn’t judge your grief; it’s personal to you. Becoming ashamed about your suffering does not help the process. It is a normal human emotion to experience loss for something that is of value to you. Healthily dealing with grief is essential. Facing grief with support ensures you can implement coping mechanisms that teach you how to deal with the pain of your loss. It is vital to remember that there is no time stamp on how quickly you will resolve and heal from grief, but committing to the process and being self-compassionate eases the sadness and emotional unrest over time. When you have started making progress with grieving, you will be able to, little by little, start accepting your loss, embrace new meaning and push ahead in life. No one looks forward to grief and can say by next week I will say “Good-bye Grief, don’t come back.” Grief doesn’t operate in that manner; it all depends on your personality and ability to cope. Even in light of this, you cannot rehearse how you will respond to grief because every loss connects differently. Do not listen to the many myths surrounding grief of how “it will subside if you ignore it”, “be a man and be strong”, or “it will pass within a year”. Dealing with grief means dismissing the myths and truly recognizing your pain. The next time you see grief, be honest and say, “Wow! I was not expecting you but wipe your feet and come on in. I have a spot right here on the couch for you.” Grief is complicated, but it is a natural and healthy way to deal with a loss that will ensure you have the strength to keep living with purpose. Contributed by: Steve O’ConnorCopywriter for M.O.T.M.V.
The Toxic and The Lonely
How to deal with the environment around me, as it can be toxic, inhibitory, out of my control. Do you think that social isolation on purpose is the best way to avoid conflicts with the people around you? If you constantly choose to withdraw, not relate and hide, because you distrust others and you think that way you can keep your peace, then read on. We can understand that this is the easiest way that you can think of, but we don’t believe that it is the most appropriate to face your fears or insecurities. Yes, because these are the two feelings that generally cause someone to simply want to be alone. Now, we have nothing against loneliness, this is an excellent companion to cultivate your peace, your space and well-being, but it is not a good friend when you go to it, just to flee the world and your own reality. So let’s see the disadvantages of choosing to isolate yourself from everything, so that you reconsider your decision, if you have been contemplating it or are already away from places and people. Prolonged isolation can deteriorate your physical health if you do not invest a lot of time in outdoor activities and also your emotional health, by stopping practicing living with others. By not socializing we can experience to a greater degree, moods such as: sadness, anguish, anxiety, lack of self-esteem, demotivation, apathy and this can lead to depression. So why is it important to maintain our relationships with other people, such as friends, family, and even not-so-well-known people? It is proven that we all need everyone, we have lived in communities for thousands of years and it is not about custom, but about fellowship and group support. We are all born into a family or raised in one, even if they are all different. And it is true that if we go together we will go further. Some personal benefits of relating to others are: Realizing that you are not the only one who faces adverse situations, that makes you empathic. And sharing moments of joy and fun fills you with energy and vitality. Contrary to loneliness for flight, when you relate, your mind can see reality and then find in the environment itself the tools to face any crisis. Connecting allows you to cultivate your self-esteem, security, conflict resolution skills and helps you learn to express and receive affection and support naturally. If you are afraid of linking too much with people or places, you must evaluate what is the cause that prevents you, perhaps there is some unresolved issue in your mind unconsciously that makes you judge all experiences equally as a defense mechanism. We can understand it, it is valid, but this is something that can be fixed. Start by surrounding yourself with people who add, who have things in common with you and with whom you can establish a camaraderie and avoid establishing prejudices before having any experience. Give yourself the opportunity to have enriching relationships and if you have deep-seated doubts or fears, then we invite you to talk with one of our therapists. Book a session and tell us so we can help you. Anabel BriceñoBrand Advisor and Copywriter for M.O.T.M.V.
5 practices to take care of your emotional well-being if you work at home
According to the experience of an immigrant and digital entrepreneur in times of pandemic. I am a Venezuelan immigrant and I have lived in Colombia for 2 and a half years. I moved with my husband and my son to the nearest neighboring country due to the governmental and economic situation that our Caribbean country is going through. With the nostalgia of leaving your land in an almost obligatory way and the desire to go to another place to build a better present and future, we settled in the Colombian capital. I went from dedicating myself to journalism and radio broadcasting to starting from scratch, so I immediately ventured to exploit my skills and talents and undertook in the digital world, driven by continuing to do what I am passionate about and fills my spirit and also by wanting to be around of my son for as long as possible, to continue dedicating myself completely to his upbringing, especially at this stage in which we have separated from many people we love, friends and family. As you can estimate, I started my online business before the pandemic, at that time I was totally excited and happy that everything was flowing and on the rise. Like any new experience, it was exciting, it seemed that he had plenty of energy to give away. I was always at 100% of my capacity and the more work came the better, at the beginning I had to offer a diversity of services, in record time and on budgets that benefited the client much more than me, but I knew that I had to make an initial effort to find the right one balance. In March 2020 when the pandemic arrived, just as many people suffered emotional decline, it was a time when fear, uncertainty, helplessness and anxiety or stress easily took hold of anyone. However, what kept me motivated was that the demand for digital marketing services increased dramatically and increased even further as the pandemic progressed, so I was grateful to be in that position where I could still work even though the world was almost paralyzed. I took this time to study, to prepare myself even more in the area of digital marketing, and I was still full of work, but this time it was not possible to leave the house to breathe and be distracted as in previous times, for a whole year this situation of social isolation made ravages, so fatigue and irritation or sensitivity began to appear. When you work all day sitting in front of the computer, the lack of physical activity is a trigger that should not be ignored. With ups and downs and as things return to their “new normal” I can say that I have gone through this time successfully, I have learned to let my emotions flow and know them, to understand how to handle them without being dominated by them. And although we continue with a global pandemic, from time to time we have the chance to go out and sunbathe.So homework continues for me, and it sure continues for you too, so if we’re going to do this for a long time, we’d better be prepared to take care of our emotional well-being. That is why I want to share with you these 6 practices that have worked for me. The first thing is to establish schedules and to-do lists. Making our body and mind follow a healthy routine can help avoid physical and mental exhaustion. Respect your schedules, and keep the free time necessary to share with the family and especially to dedicate it to yourself. Make lists of tasks that you are sure you can complete that day and go crossing out what is already ready, the fact of crossing out a task and finishing it gives us a feeling of achievement and well-being. So it is best not to saturate and not procrastinate. Stay hydrated and eat a balanced diet, this will help you have energy, good spirits and good health, remember that excesses are negative and much more if your physical activity is limited. But there is always something to do, so you can enable your training space. Order your spaces and dress according to the occasion to start working. Imagine that you will go to an external office and do everything you would do in it, set aside an office or space exclusively to spend time at work, tidy up your table or desk, put aromatherapy, put on lotion, even the girls’ high heels, and shoes they would wear to go to work the boys. This makes our brain activate and prepare to do all those activities that we have in mind. That will make you feel empowered, useful, and productive. Do not multitask although you think you can bear the load, avoid it because perhaps in the short term your exhaustion is serious and generates other health problems. Do homework as much as you can and be grateful for what you do yourself every day even if you feel that it is little. Have you heard that phrase that says: “do not take your work home ‘But how to do when we already have work in our home? Once again, respect the limits when finishing your work and dedicate yourself to other activities that promote your well-being. Finally, if you feel that you are very saturated, married, exhausted, agitated, or sad and sensitive, the first thing you should do is stop and work on the internal order so that your external order can be reflected. In case you feel that you cannot get out of the plateau, seek professional help. Understanding that these can be natural periods of time is essential, the difference is in how we react to our emotions, thoughts or messages that the body sends us, when the situation tends to repeat itself. Finally, try to dedicate yourself to a work at home that makes you happy and in which you do not
How do you know if you have Severe Anxiety?
You may say that you are just tired or stressed because you had a hard day, but what happens when this lasts longer than it should, because it is not normal that you are always exhausted or tense. It is possible that you are presenting symptoms of severe anxiety and you do not know it yet. However, do not be alarmed. We want to help you understand what is happening so that you can start working on the solution and seek the necessary professional help, if necessary. You are not the only one. Let’s talk statistics: for the year 2019 according to the World Health Organization, more than 264 million inhabitants around the world had severe anxiety. This high figure makes it one of the most important pathologies today. The advantage is that there are many specialists who can help with the appropriate treatment for each type of case as each situation is different, comes from different causes and stimuli, and according to each person, the severe anxiety generates different consequences. The common factors. What is similar are the symptoms that occur and it is what we want you to be able to evaluate today, be it your case or that of a family member or friend. Therefore, check out the common symptoms below that exists with a person who demonstrates high anxiety: * Constant stress* Fatigue* Fast heartbeat* Lack of concentration.* Preoccupation with the same situation over and over again* Excessive or unusual sweating.* Body tremors* Heavy breathing* Fear* Isolation and avoidance of situations or people As you may have noticed, severe anxiety does not only appear with physical reactions, it also includes thoughts, emotions, attitude towards situations and we will add constant repetitive movements – the most common being that of the leg. If you present with many of these symptoms with great frequency and intensity, it is very likely that you have severe anxiety. It is helpful to seek out professional help to prevent and rule out, than to let the anxiety advance. Our suggestion: Try not to take over-the-counter medications or certain tranquilizers, but seek professional help first as sometimes underlying causes of another kind can be developing because of severe anxiety. If something like this happens to you, knowing what is happening to you will put you on the path to a solution. Don’t have a therapist? Contact us at www.mattersofthemindllc.com. At Matters Of The Mind Vaultage we believe that if the mind heals, the body will follow. Anabel BriceñoBrand Advisor and Copywriter for M.O.T.M.V.
How to help a person with depression?
To help someone with depression you must first be sure of their state of mind, you should not think that anyone is, just because they are sad, indifferent or lonely, this may just be a transition period that they are going through, due to some circumstance who is living. So before offering your help to someone, it is essential that you have certainty of a diagnosis provided by a professional therapist or, failing that you evaluate at least if they present the symptoms that we will tell you below: First, we want you to know that the symptoms are not always visible, sometimes who you least imagine is in a depressed state instead of that person who you think may be wrong. It is common for a person with depression to show: Frustration Hopelessness Self-sabotage Drastic mood swings Social distancing Attempted suicide What can you do to help him get out of the situation? Remember that their recovery does not depend on you, but on their own decision or reasoning capacity and resilience in adverse situations, but what is certain is that your support can make their process more bearable, especially if it is someone close to them. that you care a lot, your help will be a precious commodity in those moments. 1.Listen to it. Forget about sermons or trying to give solutions, being a company to listen to how you feel and that you can vent is crucial in this process, avoid feeling judged. 2. Avoid asking him to calm down or cheer up, which for you may be obvious and normal, for a person with depression it represents something different, so do not think that he should feel good just because you can tolerate those kinds of situations. 3. Do not take anything personal, what happens to him/her iis the product of his/her experiences and ways of seeing life, even factors that go far beyond his will at times. Avoid feeling guilty, sorry, or overprotective. 4. Be patient, we know that it can be difficult, especially if you do not understand that what is common for you is something complex for that person, but give them your company whenever you can, being present can help them feel that they have people to count on. 5. Avoid making him/her feel abnormal or different from how everyone else acts. Imposing social patterns can only aggravate the damage, this person already feels strange, do not make him feel worse, just because of his way of facing things, you already know that with help he can improve at his own pace if he wants to. There is a resource that we all have at hand to help, is to put ourselves in that person’s shoes, offer understanding and affection. If you do not understand the situation in depth, do your part and leave the rest in professional hands. If you have a family member or friend who you think is in this state, ask him if he would like help since you cannot offer him an exact solution, with his disposition you can contact us. If you feel that you are the one going through a depressive period, you are also welcome, you can contact one of our counselors and begin your journey of healing and self-discovery. Anabel BriceñoBrand Advisor and Copywriter for M.O.T.M.V.
Love Can Be A Lonely Responsibility
We all love to be loved. We love being loved properly. The 5 love language helps with being loved properly. Knowing your love language and communicating that effectively with others gives someone an outline and blueprint to loving you. The 5 Love Languages are as follows: 1. Words of Affirmation 2. Acts of Services 3. Gifts 4. Quality Time Spent 5. Physical Touch. When someone speaks your love language it’s like fuel to your soul. We all love to be loved. What can be challenging at times is when we have to make sure we are properly loving others. It can become challenging when the responsibility falls on us to meet the requirements of others love language. When loving others, you have to be intentional and sometimes even creative. If someone’s love language is gifts, you’ll probably have to get creative and not get them the same gift over and over. If their love language is acts of service, you’ll have to be intentional with serving them in a way that reflects there language. The goal is to serve this language where the action signifies love and gratitude. Tailoring your love to meet the need of others can feel like a lonely solitary act of responsibility because the burden of effort falls on you. This is not said to discourage you from loving to your fullest. This is to make you aware that loving the ones who mean the most to you is a responsibility and, at times, it will feel as such. The balance to all of this is to make sure you speak up on how you want to be loved as well. Hopefully their is a confluence, a stream of love from you, and those that love you. That way as you pour out love, love is poured back into you. Yes loving someone can fall square on your shoulders and feel lonely at times. But you’re never alone, we are one reach away. Comment below if you can relate to this message. Written by: Q. EdmondsM.O.T.M.V. StoryTeller
A passion for forgiveness
We’ve heard people explain their process of forgiveness. Some get angry at first. Some isolate. Some have tension in the body. Some feel uncomfortable and unsettled. Others cry. They sit quietly for awhile. They want revenge. They take days to ponder it. They know that wouldn’t solve the problem. So they work on letting it go. They talk it out with friends. They yell, scream, and curse. They mentally, emotionally, and maybe even physically let it out. They feel a weight lifted. They feel free. Getting to the moment when you decide to forgive is not always easy. Sometimes it’s never easy. However, once you decide to go all in and forgive, you have to become passionate about it. You don’t have to fall in love with the process, however you do have to be committed to enjoy the results. You have to make up in your mind that forgiveness is worth it. It’s worth your long-term peace, health, and state of mind. You may think the other person doesn’t deserve it, but you deserve it. You deserve to let go of the weight. The same way we find passion in any life task we have to find passion for forgiveness. Because ultimately it’s what’s best for us. Steps that you can take towards forgiveness:1. Admit that you’re hurt. 2. Evaluate how the hurt makes you feel. 3. Ask yourself, “Am I ready to forgive?” 4. Determine what forgiveness would do for you. 5. Have a conversation with the person that offended you. 6. Than work the process of forgiveness. We are passionate about many things in life. When the time is right. When you are ready. When you can be honest. Be passionate about forgiveness. Please share, like, comment, and pass the word. Anabel BriceñoBrand Advisor and Copywriter for M.O.T.M.V.
Remove the clutter and make your life essential!
If you ask, you will find that people have different outlooks to the word clutter. Some have an aversion to clutter. Others operate within an organized chaos. There are different tolerance levels to clutter. However, we’re sure that even though we all look at clutter differently, there comes a point when too much is too much. Have you stopped to consider the clutter in your work schedule? Or in your meal prep or lack thereof? Have you ever considered there may be clutter in your daily routines to life? When things are cluttered, it means that things are crowded. When things are crowded, it means that there is little room for movement. If your life’s’ routine is cluttered with things that cause you extra energy that you don’t have to spare, than your movements are being restricted towards the things that need maximum effort. Learning the art of essentialism helps us declutter our lives and focus only on the things that we can give maximum effort every time we engage it. Yes…yes…we know that may sound impossible. However, things become possible and probable when…. 1. We give it the effort it deserves and 2. When we are intentional. Here are some things that will help you be essential: 1. Stop multitasking 😤! – Multitasking is a myth. 2. Live in the moment. 3. Get enough sleep. – 8 hours is recommended. 4. Say no more! Also, Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism is a great resource to learn the art of Essentialism. Listen, if you took this read seriously and you want to make changes in decluttering your routines and become more essential, than we admonish you to go after it! We also encourage you to be diligent, and also give yourself grace – because time takes time. You have to adjust to your new essential lifestyle. But we promise you, you’ll love the end results! So will you give the art of essentialism a shot?Share these concepts of essentialism with someone that it can benefit. Written by: Q. EdmondsM.O.T.M.V. StoryTeller
Engaging Our Seniors!
We’ve had the pleasure of hearing back from one of our members who drives for Lyft, the ride share service. They talked about their engagement with our Senior/Elder community. They’ve had the unique pleasure of picking up the elderly from Senior homes, hospitals, grocery stores, and from libraries. Each ride had its own unique experience. Living in this new age of Covid-19, we are admonished to abide by different rules. One of those rules is that you keep a 6- foot-distance from others. Now this becomes troublesome when you have someone that can barely walk; attempting to be a passenger using a Lyft car service. You have to make a judgment call. Maybe even a moral call. Do you allow that person to struggle on their own? Do you help escort them to the car, even if that means lacing your arms with theirs violating the 6 foot rule?This is where you have to tap into the difference between the brain and the mind. “The brain is an organ but the mind isn’t. The brain is the physical place where the mind resides. … The mind is the manifestations of thought, perception, emotion, determination, memory and imagination that takes place within the brain. Mind is often used to refer especially to the thought processes of reason” ~www.researchgate.netFor example, the brain may tell you “follow the rules”, but the mind starts to reason and empathize with the decision at hand. Our member, the Lyft driver, used the reasoning of empathy and provided service and engaged our Senior Community, by escorting them to the car, inside the building, and physically lifting one into the car. Our engagement with our Seniors will look different, however there is a call for a brave few to engage nonetheless. We’re not asking you to sacrifice your wellness, however we do salute every health care provider/front line worker, even when they are in form of “the Lyft driver”. During this time of Covid -19, have you ever had to make decision that caused you to be cautious and brave at the same time? Please share with the community at large! Written by: Q. EdmondsM.O.T.M.V. StoryTeller
How do I know if group therapy is for me?
Among so many types of therapies that currently exist, it is normal that you do not know which is the best for you, or perhaps you have not even considered having a session. That is why it is important to know what each one is about so you can have an understanding when receiving suggestions from a professional in the area. Sometimes the professional’s decision is underestimated. Some people argue that this is not what they, their family or friends need, but it is recommended to consider the suggestions of the licensed specialist. It is likely that if your specialist tells you to attend group therapy, it is because you are going through one of these situations: Situations of mourning for the loss of a loved one or after a romantic breakup Addictions Personality disorders Shyness and social phobia Eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia Chronic or serious illnesses Self-esteem problems or insecurity Emotional dependence Conflicting relationships The main advantage of group therapy is that you can realize that you are not alone with your problem. If you are a person who feels isolated and misunderstood and you think that what happens only happens to you, then the chances of improvement are greater when you go to group therapy, since the rest of the members will have gone through similar matters. You will be able to listen to each other without fear of prejudice and criticism, in addition to, sharing experiences and solutions with the guidance of the professional who assists them. Why group and not individual? Everything will depend on your needs. If you think about it, human beings live and develop most of the time in groups, so it is a way to connect and understand each other. What if I am afraid or ashamed to expose my problems in front of strangers? In group therapies, a confidentiality agreement is established, and issues are approached with respect and without criticism, in addition to being with people who have gone through situations similar to yours, an atmosphere of empathy and understanding is immediately created. What are the benefits of group therapy? Promotes a sense of equality and understanding among participants. It takes place in an accepting environment where the participant cannot be judged or judge others. It prepares the participant to face their problems in front of groups of people without feeling intimidated. It is much cheaper than individual therapies (Although this should not be the main reason to join one without the recommendation of your specialist). It allows to put into practice the recovery techniques proposed by the professional, with the same group before trying it abroad. Discover the positive view that others may have about him and the problem he faces to find alternative solutions. Without a doubt, it is a good type of therapy for many patients, so if you receive advice on this, you already know what its benefits are and remember, “If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go with someone.” African proverb. If you want to read more topics like this, visit our social networks. Anabel BriceñoBrand Advisor and Copywriter for M.O.T.M.V.
