I recently had the privilege of being on a zoom call with about 15 to 20 men. It’s something that we do quite often to encourage one another. A heavy topic around this time is COVID-19 and the stay home order that is in effect. We got to talking about how it was affecting us. A constant adjective and feeling that was expressed without anyone uttering the word was emasculation. By definition, emasculating is depriving a man of his role or identity. It’s when you make a man feel weaker or less effective. So many men had expressed their lack of opportunity to work. They expressed their lack of being able to have an outlet for frustrations. They expressed their fear of the unknown.
So many men knew how to navigate the world as it once was. They knew how to hustle and make moves to make ends meet. Even if they lost there stable 9 to 5, their hustling mentality or street-savvy would kick in and they knew how to flip the situation. Involuntarily, this unprecedented time has changed the rules for us – Industries have stopped producing; suppliers have closed shops; travelling is more difficult than ever. Some men have lost a grip on reality, better yet, this has never been their reality. I’ve never heard so many men admit openly at one time in one setting that they were scared.It was totally emasculating. Men are deprived of their role to provide. They were less effective as creators and developers. So it seemed…… As the zoom facilitator began to weave in his topic, you could feel the virtual room shift as the men’s perspective gradually changed. The moderator advocated for the quality of ENDURING – means to continue or long-lasting.
Every man could instantly relate because even though he was scared, he had no plans of giving up. Men began to verbalize their commitments. Commitments to loving their wives, supporting their kids. Verbalizing their willingness to tell their bosses that they weren’t coming into the office because they had children with respiratory problems and was not going to put them at risk; willing to be patient with their wives even though they had never been in these close quarters with them for this long period of time. Some had to tackle anger problems because they did not have their normal outlets at the golf course, football games, meeting up at a local bar, and lounge with their friends. These men knew that this was something they had to endure. In that acceptance of something they couldn’t change, they started to focus on the things they could change. They found identity in the midst of something that was emasculating them. They were learning how to be effective in ways that they didn’t Imagine.
They began their power back. They found masculinity in an emasculating time. If you are having a hard time dealing with this period of covid-19, have you considered changing your perspective?
Let us hear your voice, our community wants to hear from you!
Written by: Q. EdmondsM.O.T.M. StoryTeller
