Children: Discipline or Connection?
How hard are you on your kids?Do you think that more discipline and authority you impose, the better person he will be? Over the years we have heard that parents are rude for love, because that is the only way for children to learn to be responsible and committed to their own lives. We believe that this is one of the best inheritances we can leave them: being strict parents. But this doesn’t work for everyone, there are people who come from loving and flexible parents and they are well-educated and conscientious adults. There is also a family where the parents were very strict and the children end up taking different paths from those that were instilled in them, being labeled as rebels for this. The truth is that the stories are reversed and nothing is established. each family and each parenting is different and this is valid. But whatever your parenting style and personality as a parent, we want to share two concepts with you:Discipline and connection. According to wikipedia: Discipline is the observance of the rules of conduct and internal functioning established hierarchically by an organization for its members, as well as the sanction of non-observance. But it is also defined as: A set of rules or norms whose compliance constantly leads to a certain result. Now in the first concept if you realize it is about imposing rules that if not followed lead to punishment, the question is, is this what we want for our children? we would be acting as a kind of radical government with them and this only limits and instills fear. In the second concept, a better definition is appreciated and this is an approach that we can give to that discipline that we want to impart to them. Focus this teaching on that if they have discipline of their own free will in their projects or in their life in general then they will achieve the results they want. But discipline sometimes puts us in a higher place as parents, because for years we have been taught respect for the elderly and this is the same as we do with our children. The problem is that many times this respect for discipline turns into fear, distance and lack of connection between parents and children. At that point is that we should NOT get there. That is why we want to introduce you to the CONNECTION concept. According to some specialists in psychology, the connection is: a meeting point, a meeting point between two or more people that keeps them together. We can add that personal connection is empathy, it is love. Through empathy we understand the other and through love we give affection and value, we allow the other to be free and we trust them. Then the connection can be more effective and can help us avoid creating childhood trauma. With this we do not want to tell you that you choose between one and the other, but that you learn to teach healthy discipline instead of imposing it like a moody boss and that at the same time you have a connection with your children. As adults, we must understand that we will not be right all the time even though we have much more experience, that our desire for protection also comes from fear, from our own traumas and we turn it into pressure or scolding and yelling claiming that it is for the good of our children. . You must understand that perhaps you are avoiding some damages but you can cause others. As parents we will never be perfect, but we can try and try to evolve existing parenting patterns for the benefit of our families and society in general. What if today you change the punishment and scolding for a long conversation with your children, where you dedicate yourself more to listening than to establishing rules. You will be surprised to know what they think and both of you will love being able to trust each other through good times and bad. If you liked this article or have conflicting opinions about it, leave us your comment ~Anabel Sabrina BriceñoContributing WriterM.O.T.M. Vaultage
